Leave Out All the Rest
by whenjenn
Summary: PostUltimatum.BourneNicky.Nicky is on the run, unsure of her safety when she remembers a memory of her and Jason in Issaquah. She decides to follow the memory and goes to the town to try to start a new life. When Jason pops up, Nicky's life changes again.
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: A short fic that popped into my head as I was listening to Linkin Park. Bourne/Nicky. I visited Issaquah one time during break for some reason and drank a lot of coffee, and that's the only reason I remember it.

**Disclaimer**: No copyright infringement intended.

**Leave Out All the Rest**

Nicky Parsons was on the run. After helping Jason Bourne, she too, had become a target for the CIA's screwed up operations.

She barely escaped an assassination attempt and now this. Her feet were sore. The soles of her shoes were slowly wearing down; she had been running away from the traces of the CIA for four days straight now. She was fatigued and on the verge of a breakdown, but she refused to give in. Jason Bourne had led to her crumbling too many times in the past whether or not he was holding a gun to her head.

As the memories of Jason and her that she had tried so hard to forget came flooding back, one memory suddenly caught her attention.

_She was lying in bed, curled up against the body of Jason, and they were laughing as the sun slowly emerged. As she saw the beautiful sunrise, the scene took her breath away. The moment was suddenly broken as Jason spoke quietly into her ear in all seriousness._

"_If anything ever goes wrong for me or you, remember this place here in Issaquah, Washington. If the time ever comes, you'll know what I'm talking about. Don't ask any questions right now."_

Damn it. Why was he always that mysterious even when he was actually Jason Bourne and not some killer. Tears threatened to fall as the berated herself for thinking about him again.

She didn't understand why she still trusted him. He obviously held no recollection of her and had threatened to kill her before. Maybe it was because part of her refused to let go of their relationship. Maybe it was because he had let her go once and had saved her from Desh when he could have run. She hated herself at times like this - times when her conscience did no good to her whatsoever.

She still had no clue why her feet were following that one memory as she went to the airport and bought a ticket to Seattle which was close to Issaquah. She herself had almost forgotten it let alone a killer with amnesia. No! She had to stop thinking of Jason as a killer. That was what the CIA wanted to do. She had seen the real Jason.

On the plane, she eventually gave up trying to fall asleep. What would she do in Issaquah? What was there for her? She had made a rash decision and not thought things through. It was probably going to come back and bite her, but frankly, she no longer cared.

As the plane landed, she walked out of the Seattle airport and got in a cab to Issaquah, hoping for the best. She surveyed the cab driver and her surroundings. Everything seemed safe so far, and she could only wish for it to continue.

Arriving at Issaquah, she shifted her knapsack of belongings higher on her shoulder and decided to walk around the town. She needed information about the place that she recalled barely anything about. She saw a Tulley's coffee shop and decided to enter it, hoping for the best. It seemed like that was all she did nowadays. Hope for the best. She sighed and waited in a short line to order her coffee.

Sitting down in a booth, she looked out the window and inside the shop to observe her surroundings like Jason had taught her to do. Jason. The one guy that she refused to let go of. She let go of her family, her friends, and her whole life other than him. She was so enwrapped in her thoughts that she did not notice the local woman that stood by her.

"Are you visiting?"

"Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you were there. Um…Sort of. I'm actually thinking about trying to settle here," Nicky mentally hit herself. She had to be more careful. If the lady was an agent she would already be dead.

"That's interesting. I'm Taylor Mount. Nice to meet you. Are you moving into that abandoned house?"

"The abandoned house?" Nicky's mind started reeling. Could it be that one house she and Jason had stayed in? "Is it the white house by a grove of trees, surrounded by an unpainted picket fence and has a blue mailbox?"

"Yes, that's the one. It's been abandoned for years. A couple once came and lived in there for a day or so. I believe the husband bought it and even opened a bank account for them. I've never seen them again though.

"Thank you! I'll see you around. You've been a great help!"

"Wait! You never told me your nam-" Nicky sped out of the shop and the door jingled as it closed. She found directions to the bank but then realized she had no clue who she was supposed to be. She decided to visit the house first.

Walking up the steps, Nicky observed the setting. Not much had changed, just the change that nature did over time. The grass was long, the trees slightly overgrown, and spider webs on the mailbox was the only way an outsider would be able to tell the house was abandoned. As she walked past the mailbox, she had the idea that maybe Jason would have stuck something inside. Sure enough, as she opened the mailbox, she found a folded letter for her in Jason's handwriting.

_Nicky_

She quickly opened it and read its contents. She was Victoria (Vicky) Collins, married to Brett Collins from Michigan. What followed it interested her as she had stopped the tears that had helplessly started to fall, splotching the letter. It was a song. Nicky had never known that Jason had listened to music. Nevertheless, she started to read the lyrics.

_Leave Out All the Rest – Linkin Park_

_I dreamed I was missing  
You were so scared  
But no one would listen  
Cause no one else cared_

After my dreaming  
I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving  
When I'm done here

So if you're asking me  
I want you to know

_**[Chorus**__  
When my time comes  
Forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some  
Reasons to be missed_

And don't resent me  
And when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory

Leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest  
_**[End Chorus**_

_Don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating  
I've shared what I made_

I'm strong on the surface  
Not all the way through  
I've never been perfect  
But neither have you

So if you're asking me  
I want you to know

_**[Chorus**_

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well_

Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are

_**[Chorus**_

_Forgetting  
All the hurt inside  
You've learned to hide so well_

Pretending  
Someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are  
I can't be who you are

This time, she could not stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. What had happened along the way? Why did he have to lose his memory? Why did she have to lose him? She abruptly stopped crying and went to the bank. There would be time for crying later.

She opened up the safety deposit box and found what she was looking for and more. There were the house keys, the instructions on how to turn off the high tech security system, documents, their fake passports, a lot of money, and a photo album. She memorized the instructions, took one house key, her passport, money, and she hesitated to take the album but did.

Back at the house she was amazed at the sight laid before her. What she saw absolutely amazed her. Jason had done a lot of work since they were last there. The house was simple, but nicely furnished. Just looking around, the memory came back to her stronger. She decided to sneak a peak at the album first; she didn't have much to unpack anyways.

The album was filled with pictures of them. There were pictures of them laughing, making faces, and enjoying themselves in general. At each picture, Nicky paused to remember the times they had shared and with the memories came the tears. She moved to the bedroom to be only hit with more memories and grief. She slowly fell into a sad sleep.

For the next two days, Nicky stayed at the house reminiscing, but she finally came out and visited the Tulley's coffee shop again. Maybe Taylor would be there and could help her settle in.

Nicky walked into the coffee shop, ordered her coffee, and sat in the exact same booth. She pulled out a book, _Romeo and Juliet_, one of her favorites to read. She paid barely any attention to the news broadcasting on the TV until a name caught her attention. _David Webb_. A smile crept its way onto her face as the reporter testified that his body was yet to be found. She was so caught up in her thoughts once again that she failed to see Taylor standing in front of her.

"Hey! I see you're back! How are you?"

"Oh, hey Taylor! Nice seeing you again. Have a seat. I'm doing fine. I just spent the last couple days cleaning up the house."

"Ahhhh. House cleaning is never fun. But say, I never got your name last time."

"Sorry, I was slightly out of it that day. Vicky Collins." The two women continued to converse until a deep, male voice interrupted.

"Vicky?" Nicky whipped her head around at the voice. The voice that sounded too familiar. _Jason's._

"Brett!" She hurriedly stood up from the booth and hugged him. It was only after Jason responded to her hug that she realized she had no clue who she was really hugging. Was it the Jason she fell in love with or was it the Jason that threatened to kill her? The small smile that he had on his face led her to believe it was closer to the former. And so she did what she had not done in a long time, smiled.

"Taylor, sorry, I was about to forget to introduce you to him. This is Brett, my husband, Brett this is Taylor. She's helped me around town.

"Pleasure to meet you ma'm."

"Quite a charming man you have there Vicky." Nicky's cheeks pinked on command.

"Haha. Thanks for the flattery, but if you'll excuse me, I have to talk to Vicky about something at the house?"

"What? Oh of course. Here's my number. We'll stay in touch! Until next time then." Taylor left the shop and Nicky turned to Jason with questioning eyes.

"C'mon. Let's head back Vicky." The two of them exited the shop, and Nicky was surprised when Jason led her to a car. "Hop in. Don't worry. I didn't steal it." Nicky gave a small smile, sat back, and enjoyed the ride back to the house.

They entered the house and an awkward silence ensued. They both stood idly by the door, not sure what to do. Nicky wanted to close the gap between them and hug Jason again, feel his strong arms around her, and feel safe - something that seemed so foreign to her because of all the crap that Conklin had thrown on her. But still, just because Jason had hugged her back and smiled at her in the shop meant nothing. He could have just been playing his part, sticking to his simple story. But then he had been slightly humorous when talking about the car – something that Jason Bourne, the trained killing machine, had never done.

"Errr….so how long have you been here?" Jason interrupted Nicky's thoughts, saving her from her own conscience. He was always saving her.

"A few days. I spent three days settling in and finally left the house again today." She was not about to tell him she spent the past three days breaking down.

"Um…well that's good." Damn. The socially inept maniacal Jason was back. "So is there food in the fridge?" There that was a typical thing most guys would say. He felt slightly more human.

"Err…not really." Jason raised his eyebrows but said nothing. "I guess we might as well get this over with. Why are you here Jason? It seems like every time I manage to move on you come back into my life and drag me further back. Why?"

"Sorry. I'll leave if you want. I just thought…" Jason trailed off, what was he thinking? Too much had passed between them. She deserved to be with a human - someone that was not a trained killer, someone who had all his memory. "Nevermind. I was just hoping you could help me remember more, but I'll leave you alone now. I've invaded your life enough." Nicky thought frantically. She had never meant for her words to make him leave. As one hand was holding his bag of belongings, the other one was opening the door, and his foot was already out the door.

"Wait! Jason! I didn't mean it that way. Stay." At his brief hesitation, she added a "please." Only his back foot was still visible, she was begging him to stay. He sighed and turned around. "I...I…" Nicky stuttered as she struggled to find the right words, "Maybe we should just start with why you're physically standing in this house that even I could barely remember anything about." Jason sighed and shrugged. All the sighs didn't go unnoticed by Nicky. "And when you started sighing so much." Jason gave a small smile and walked back in the house to begin his explanation that he owed her.

"When I was in a more stable condition after falling off the roof, I started wandering aimlessly. I really didn't want to know anymore about myself. I found a motel that seemed low-key and rented a room to sleep. I woke up the same night from a flashback. I remembered this place and how I had set it up as an escape route. And then I remembered a memory of us in the bed watching the sunrise. That's all I remember of…us?" Jason felt awkward. He remembered that one little strand of what he assumed to be their relationship. He finally looked up at Nicky's face and what he saw startled him, the deep pools of sadness within her eyes and unshed tears threatening to fall. "I'm sorry…I…" Jason was at a loss for words, so he did the only thing he could think of. He took her into his arms and held onto her like she was his only lifeline. They were in the position for a long time until he finally felt Nicky relax in his arms.

"So you remember that and nothing more?" She couldn't help but to look up with hopeful eyes. Suddenly she saw Jason's eyes became cloudy. "Jason?"

"Huh? What? Sorry, I was having a flashback." Jason waited for Nicky to prod like Marie did, but realized that Nicky was not Marie. Unexpectedly, Jason's head started to throb uncontrollably.

"Jason? Jason? JASON!"

**AN:** I guess this fic is longer than I originally intended…Reviews are nice


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: No copyright infringement intended.

**Leave Out All the Rest**

_Last time…_

"Huh? What? Sorry, I was having a flashback." Jason waited for Nicky to prod like Marie did, but realized that Nicky was not Marie. Unexpectedly, Jason's head started to throb uncontrollably.

"Jason? Jason? JASON!"

**Chapter 2**

Nicky quickly guided Jason to the couch and ran to the bathroom. She searched in all the cupboards for a towel but could find none. Damn it. Why had she not actually settled in? As she was about to leave the bathroom to get something, anything to soak in water, her eyes caught the towels sitting on the metal bars on the walls. She had been too occupied with searching for things where they wouldn't be. Curse the CIA, but there wasn't really time for that now. She quickly took a washcloth, drenched it in cold water, and brought it out. She held it against Jason's forehead after wiping the sweat that had formed.

Out of the blue, Jason broke out of his reverie and snapped his head toward Nicky. Nicky, startled, gave a little yelp and dropped the towel.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you Nic." Nicky, startled once more, looked into Jason's eyes, almost getting lost in his crystal clear blue orbs and managed to stutter out,

"What did you call me?"

"Nic…" Jason's eyebrows scrunched in concentration. "I…I...don't really know why. Sorry." Nicky tried her best to hide her crestfallen looks, but Jason was able to read her like a book before, and he sure hadn't lost his skills. "I remember a lot more now though, a lot more about…us." It still felt weird to him, saying the word 'us.'

"What do you remember now?" Nicky's voice was unenthusiastic; the lesson of not getting her hopes up had finally come through. The tone of Nicky's voice angered Jason.

"I'm trying my best here. I'm on the run all the same too. I just have the small addition of not being able to REMEMBER THREE-QUARTERS OF MY F-ING LIFE!" Jason's outburst shook Nicky. "I never should have come. You can have the house. There will be a death certificate on the kitchen counter tomorrow." And with that, Jason Bourne walked away from his key to sanity.

"Wait! Jason!" Nicky desperately tried to call him back, but when she opened the door he had slammed on his way out, he was no where to be seen. And for the fourth day in a row, she sat down on the sofa and cried. She felt lonely and cold. She already missed him after one minute of his departure. But then again, she had missed him for so many years before; she could live without him after this encounter. She tried to go to sleep, but her dreams were plagued with the memories of her and Jason. Sleep could and would not come. She ended up sitting on the sofa for the rest of the night.

A sound at the door snapped her back to reality. She reached for the pistol by her side that she kept hidden; however when she heard the security system granting access and all the locks opening, she was convinced it was only Jason. Her hand was still resting on her pistol just in case it wasn't.

Jason stepped into the house hoping that Nicky was asleep. It would make the chances of encountering her so much lower. As Nicky became confident it was Jason, her body acted on its own accord. She walked to the door, locked all the locks, and stood pressed firmly against it.

At the sound of movement, Jason immediately reached for his gun and aimed. He was surprised when he found it aimed at Nicky. Again. This happened too often. He sighed, lowered his arm, and left his death certificate on the kitchen counter like he said he would. Nicky watched his every move carefully, wishing he would take longer. That way she could realize what she was doing standing against a locked door - if Jason wanted to get out, he could easily force his way out. But it was Jason she was talking about, the quick and efficient man.

Jason strode over to the door, looked Nicky straight in the eye, and with no emotion in his voice said,

"Move." Nicky kept eye contact with him while suddenly realizing how close their bodies were. Jason seemed to realize too as he took a step back.

"No." It came out barely audible, but it still sounded too loud to her ears. "I mean…I…" Nicky trailed off, unsure what to say. She wasn't sure who she was talking to. Was it her Jason or was it the cold man? "I'm sorry. You should stay. It's still dark out." She sounded like an idiot, and they both knew it. If there was an opportune moment to run away, it was at night.

"No. Now move. I have a life." Nicky's wall broke. She was tired of everything. She was tired of running, tired of fighting herself, tired of fighting him, tired of fighting them. She unconsciously moved from the door and sunk to the floor. She curled up in a ball with her legs bent in front of her and her head resting on her knees. The tears that she thought she no longer had came back and paved their way down her cheeks.

Jason's heart went out to Nicky. He wasn't even sure he had a heart until then, but he felt it breaking as her sobs racked her whole body. It pained him to think that it was his fault that she was like this – fragile, vulnerable. He didn't know what he was actually doing until he was sitting down beside her, arm around her shoulders, and her head leaning against him crying. The situation was oddly familiar but foreign at the same time. The new flood of memories that had come to him earlier that day had contained a scene of them like this. She was crying because he had to leave and had no clue whether or not he would return. The sobs were quieting and when they finally stopped, he started to get up, ready to leave, when he realized she was asleep. His old memories told him that her sleep was troubled, for she was not sleeping like the way she normally did in his company. He sighed for the last time that day and held her until he too fell asleep.

The sun shone through the windows eventually reaching the two bodies sleeping on the floor. Jason woke and was about to stretch when he realized his body was tangled with Nicky's. He sighed; it had become a habit. His arm which was around Nicky's waist was being gripped by Nicky's hand while her other hand was next to her face on his chest. Their legs were intertwined like a Twizzler. Jason took the time to study the girl in his arms. For once, he was not only studying her facial expression and body language. He had just finished observing the angle that the sun hit her face when she stirred.

When Nicky was waking up, she was momentarily disoriented and afraid. She was about to start screaming or help when she realized she was sleeping tangled with Jason. She quickly withdrew her hand that was holding onto his arm and ran it through her hair. She then tried to move to a standing position, but it was like walking with her shoelaces tied together as she had never bothered to unravel their legs.

Jason's instincts kicked in and he caught her in his arms. They stood in that position for what seemed like eternity until Jason broke eye contact and the silence by freeing his legs, placing Nicky on her feet, and saying the words Nicky were dreading.

"I should go. You'll never see me again."

"NO! Don't go. Please. With an M&M on top." Nicky knew that Jason hated cherries because most of his medication was flavored after the fruit, but she only hoped he would too since she would have seemed like an idiot saying "M&M" instead of "cherry."

Jason gave a small smile. The things that he now remembered after this one day were amazing. He had spent so many years searching for answers about his job in the past life, focusing on the assassin part but never focusing on him being a lover to someone. He had never even thought of the possibility of it until he talked to Nicky that fateful day in the café.

Nicky smiled back in response and felt happy inside because he remembered that much more. She timidly whispered as if she was scared her words would break the moment,

"What else do you remember?" She watched Jason closely as he was making up his mind to either leave, talk and stay, talk and leave, or just stay. He finally decided to talk. He would make his mind up about staying or leaving after. It all depended on how the conversation went.

"I think close to everything. I remember that we used to go to Starbucks all the time and that you drank Caramel Macchiato. I remember you hated fast food because it was too 'inconsiderate.' I remember that you especially loved dark chocolate and strawberries but hated chocolate-covered strawberries. I remember traveling with you. I remember when you reorganized my apartment and changed all my shampoo and body wash to strawberry scents. I remember the times you stayed overnight at my place and how half the time you wore all my clothes." At the last statement Nicky blushed, hoping it would slip by Jason's dissecting eyes, but it was Jason. Barely anything went unnoticed even if it wasn't in his line of sight. Jason cocked an eyebrow and gave a slight smirk. She blushed even harder.

"Oh…that's a lot." Jason was about to make a smart comment, but both of their stomachs growled. "We-I-uh…Food?" Nicky wasn't sure what the subject of that question was supposed to be. Jason pondered the idea for a while, toying with it in his mind.

"Sure. Let's go."

"I have to get ready." Nicky paused, and Jason looked at her expectantly. "Other than this set of clothes I have pajamas." She looked at Jason, and he seemed…amused?

"I have your favorite hoodie in the car. No one can tell you're wearing the same jeans. Still remember your Spanish? Vamanos." Jason took one step out the front door and quickly turned about and pushed Nicky back into the house.

**AN:** I was going to upload the chapter yesterday afternoon except it wasn't letting me. [ . Reviews are very nice


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